Kali

Here are some more super fun pictures! I just love them.

Newborn pictures from my sister Andrea!

I just love these 2 precious girls! My sister Andrea took some pictures of our family but I don't have time now to post more pictures so here is the 1st one. Anna sure loves her sister can't you tell?

October fun

This is how we survive at our house....

BATHS!

And our MOBY WRAP!

If you come to our house pretty much any time right now I will probably be doing 1 of 2 things...nursing or walking around with Kali in my Moby Wrap. I would say that those 2 things take up 75% of my time. Which I'm really glad that she like my Moby Wrap cause it still allows me to have 2 hands.

Happy Halloween

Tricker Treat

Anna wasn't quite sure about this at first but by the end she was saying it in between every house that we went to. I really think she enjoyed her 1st real tricker treating experience.

My cute little bee and lady bug. Anna loves to hold her sister!

Zach leaves for 1 hour

I decided I needed to post this about Sunday. Zach left for his meetings in the morning and in 1 hour Anna took off her diaper and peed everywhere, put her small chair on top of another one and almost killed herself, dumped crackers and cereal everywhere, pounced on the keys on the keyboard, and I'm sure there is more that I'm not thinking of.

She's a little crazy these days. Definitively jealous of Kali, I just hope that it gets better. We are surviving though which I'm grateful for. I think nursing is getting easier and I just hope I'm on the up hill from now on and that Kali continues to gain the weight that she needs and that I can continue to give her what she needs. It can be a real challenge as a Mom to have a balance in life.

Thank goodness for my AMAZING husband who helps me so much! Even right now he is putting Kali to bed so I can write this, and also to give me a break. Kali WON'T take a pacifier so it can be hard to soothe her sometimes. Overall I think she does pretty well honestly, and I've enjoyed reading her better because she doesn't take one. I loved that Anna took one so easily I just hope I survive a child that doesn't. I will probably still continue to try to give it to her but for now it just makes her SO mad.

My thoughts about being a Mother of 2

There is nothing like being a Mother. When I had Anna it was as if I woke up one day and reality hit me that I was having a baby and that I would soon be a Mother. Little did I know what that would in tale. I knew the basics I mean how hard can it be, my Mom raised 8 kids. I just have to say that being a Mom IS NOT EASY. Yes it can bring about great blessings and tremendous amounts of joy but it is also a lot of work. I remember in High School playing sports and doing lots of extra curricular things to keep myself busy and because I loved it. Well then I left High School and a few years later became a Mom and my life has done a complete 180. I mean I'm still me it's just not all about me anymore. It can be hard at times to feel like you are progressing or learning new things. I guess in High School I felt like a lot of people looked up to me and that I really did make a difference on my teams and in school. Well now I've had to refocus and find new hobbies and new ways to make a difference. I know that my "job" as a Mother is probably one of the most important things I will accomplish on this Earth. It is a big responsibility and one that I believe Heavenly Father has entrusted to me to help me become who he wants me to be.

Anna was hard hands down. She is so fun now but having her was difficult, nursing was horrible at first and the first few months of pregnancy I wondered who this person was that was living inside my body. Kali has been a lot easier. I think in some ways I new what to expect but she is a pretty happy baby. Nursing is getting a lot easier and emotionally I think I've handled having her around much better. I choose to get out of the house often and to try to still do the things I love to do. Things like cooking, doing crafts, going to parks, or just getting out of the house to take a walk. It has helped keep me remain sane and I truly think it has helped me be a better Mother. The biggest challenge for me right now is feeling like I'm being a good Mother to Anna. I have not been as patient with her as I should be and I need to do better. But overall I really feel I'm going to really enjoy being a Mother to both of my beautiful daughters. I can't believe it, I'm a Mother of 2!

Our new addition

Kali is here

I'm so excited to announce that Kali is here. What a crazy last few days. The number 1 thing people usually want to see is pictures so I will add some but I want to write my story down. Mostly just for reference sake and hopefully Kali will read it someday.

We planned on getting induced on Monday at 3am. I called the night before and they told me to call at 2am to see if they had an opening for me. At 2 am they said that they were full and that they would call about 8 if I hadn't heard from them then I could call back. Well I called at 8 and said they were getting a room ready but weren't there yet so hang tight. Well they finally called like 8:30ish and we got to the hospital about 9. We got paper work done and went back to our room where we would spend the next 32ish hours preparing to have a baby. They put me right on pitocin after getting an IV and I was on that till 1pm. Well my contractions were getting stronger but my cervix was really hard still so the doctor stopped pitocin and put a balloon in me for the next 12 hours. The balloon puts pressure on both sides of your cervix and has been found to be as effective as the gel that they normally use to induce labor but can't use on VBAC's because you have a greater chance of having your uterus rupture which is the number 1 thing that we DO NOT want to happen. Well I still had contractions all night anywhere from 3 to 10 minutes apart. When 1am came around they took out the balloon and started me on pitocin again. The balloon had done its job and the cervix had softened very nicely. I knew from that point on that I was in for the long hall so I tried to rest as much as possible while the balloon was in me and also just after they took it out. They slowly turned up my pitocin all morning long and my contractions just got harder and harder. About 11am my contractions were very intense and I started thinking I want an epidural. I had the nurse check me and she thought that I was only at a 2 and I just felt like crying...I was dieing and only at a 2. They finally came to give me an epidural and it took everything and I mean EVERYTHING I had to sit still enough for them to give it to me. The 1st one they did didn't work so I finally got a 2nd one and it helped with the pressure in my back and stomach that was so intense but it was NOT and I mean not helping the vaginal pain I was having. I was feeling much better than before and I really didn't want them to have to try again so I just dealt with it. Also the anesthesiologist told me that because I was trying to have a VBAC they needed me to feel enough that I could tell them if something was going wrong or if my incision was hurting. So I decided because it was helping I would just deal with it. Well I dealt with a lot of pain laying in bed from like 330 till I delivered about 5:15. The doctor finally numbed me when I started pushing and it was a good thing because it really helped. He had to give me an episiotomy as well so I'm glad I didn't have to feel that. But I couldn't believe when she was finally born. I pushed through about 3 or 4 contractions so like 12 pushes and she was here.

I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father that I was able to deliver her vaginally. I believe it was a true miracle. I feel my Doctor really didn't want to do it but I'm so grateful he supported me through it and did everything he could to help it happen. I know that he was inspired and that there were many people looking out for me and praying for me. While I was sitting in bed just waiting till they took my balloon out I could feel the spirit so strong and I'm so grateful to have Kali in our lives.

Blessings

It's amazing how you look at people differently and realized how blessed you are when you are going through a challenge yourself. I think sometimes the key to lives challenges is being able to get out of our own self pity to see your blessings.

*Just needed something to help me keep perspective...

40 weeks and 4 days, no baby

I'm 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I still haven't had a baby. I cannot tell you how many people have asked "You haven't had your baby yet?" I feel like saying well isn't that obvious? It also almost never fails that after they say...so is your Doctor going to induce you? Then I have to explain that originally my Doctor said he wouldn't induce me or else I'd have to have a c section which is what I had with Anna. Well today at my appointment my Doctor said that he doesn't like to go much past 41 weeks because chances of bad things happening go WAY up. Well he also said chances of having a v back after 42 weeks go way down. Now he said if it was him he would just do a c section, knowing what he knows, but he did give me the option of being induced. He said that if I am induced they can only use pitocin and they have to monitor me very close. If anything happens then I have to have a c section. Knowing all of this I will pray that I can figure out what is best and may decide to have a c section after months of anticipating trying to have a v back. The thought of this kills me inside yet I realize that we don't always get what we want in life and that sometimes we just have to be okay with what the Lord has blessed us with. Most importantly I realize that NO ONE CAN FIX THIS FOR ME! I know the Lord does work miracles but only when it is HIS will. This may be a challenge that I have to face and don't want to but somehow I will get through this.

It amazes me what people say to pregnant woman. I mean isn't it enough that:

-We have this huge belly that may look like we are carrying twins

-Yes we have a hard time sleeping

-Yes we have to use the bathroom often

-Yes it can be uncomfortable

-No I can't predict when I will go into labor

-No my baby hasn't dropped and probably won't till I'm in labor...

-Most importantly the only person that really knows when this baby will come is the Lord, so ask him and if you get an answer let me know cause he sure isn't letting me in on the secret...

-And NO I don't want a c section but well sometimes in life we just have to be okay with the things that we do have.

(Have any others you'd like to add?)

*But in all seriousness I really don't mind being pregnant. I guess my challenges are in other ways. I don't throw up everyday, I don't get horrible heart burn, I don't have a horrible time sleeping. (yes I get up to go the bathroom often and wish I could sleep longer but who wouldn't). She doesn't hang out in my ribs because I don't have a small torso. I'm very lucky I will admit. Now this time around I sure pray that it is easier to have a newborn because that was difficult. Between hormones that are whacked, trying to figure out nursing, worrying about my weight and the babies, and not understanding what all the babies signs are so therefore not knowing what to do when the baby cries. Feeling overwhelmed with everyone wanting to take your baby from you, whether you like it or not. These are just some of the reasons it was hard. I realize I will go through most of them again. I just pray I have the strength to go through all of that without going crazy...seriously! Or without having an emotional breakdown and saying things that I will regret. If I say anything stupid to any of you I'm truly sorry.

40 Weeks...REALLY?

So I am 40 weeks. I almost can't believe it. Is this really happening? Am I really going to have a baby? It's real, I know it, yet I believe reality won't sink in till she's here. Today as I'm sitting here thinking about myself I realized how incredibly blessed I am and wanted to write a short list to help me keep perspective,

-wonderful family

-amazing Husband (who honors his Priesthood, works hard, and is so patient with me!)

-loving daughter

-a car that works well

-Zach's job that makes it possible for me to stay home

-a great ward

-a baby growing inside me soon to come to this world

-and MOST IMPORTANTLY THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST

*Thank goodness for moments that help us remember why all the small things happen in our lives and why the Lord's timing is always better than ours.

Anticipation

So I didn't get the opportunity to feel this kind of anticipation with Anna. She came a little over a week early and honestly I didn't think she would. So therefore I was semi prepared but emotionally I would say that I wasn't. Being a Mom is unlike any other thing that can happen to a woman. One day you wake up have a child and from that moment on you know that this is a VERY SPECIAL child of God that he has given to you to raise and to be it's MOTHER. I think about some of the great Mothers I know and I realize that of all the things I've wanted to be my whole life a Mother is #1. I believe being a Mother is one of the most important and sacred callings a woman can be given. Some woman have to work, others choose to and for them that is what works best. I have decided in my own life that being a full time Mother is what is best for me and my family. I hope that circumstances are such throughout my life that I can stay home.

Back to the anticipation thing though...wow can I just have a baby already? I mean yeah I kind of am okay letting her chill where she is but this moment of knowing whether or not I will have a c section has been on my mind since I had Anna pretty much. I feel peace knowing that the Lord is in charge yet I also am nervous knowing that any day I will have another child of God to take care of. Come on baby you can do it, we can do it! Lets all pray she comes soon.

Date night, and fun pictures

Zach and I decided that Friday was a great time for us to go on a date before this next baby comes. It was a really fun night! We went mini golfing, walked around Walmart a little and then had ice cream after. Seeing as it's still over 100 degrees no matter what time you are outside it felt nice to get ice cream. Check out those mad skills.
Golfing with this pregnant belly wasn't exactly my favorite...you see it kind of gets in the way.
Yes my face was red, it's hot okay. I pretty much never cool off, and we are golfing in 100 degree weather.
The other night I decided Anna needed her own little baby when we bring our baby home from the hospital so we went shopping. Found some really cute dolls, but Anna loved the big fluffy teddy bears, so I just had to get a few cute pictures! This one is a HORSEEE btw.
BEAR.....as Anna would say
Ohhhh...
Our little girl who's so grow up!
I decided I needed a few pictures of this BIG belly...Thank goodness I don't always have to pack this around.
One of Anna's favorite things to do, give BIG HUGS!
I love my MOMMY!~Seriously sometimes I think she might wear my name out, she only says it a million times a day.

Almost 38 weeks tomorrow and going strong. I wonder when I am going to have this baby. Sometimes I think I'm close yet other times I wonder if it's ever going to happen, lol...of course this baby has to come out sometime right?

Grandma Fish's Funeral

These are pictures from my Grandmothers Funeral. I actually didn't take any at the funeral itself probably because I was crying too much but it was an amazing service. She was an incredible person and I know that she will be missed tremendously! She was a woman of faith. I would say that she is probably one of the most patient, kind, selfless, and charitable persons I know. I'm so grateful that I got to go to her funeral! I know that the Lord's timing is remarkable and I'm so thankful that I didn't go into labor there.

Released From Primary

I got released as the Primary chorister a few weeks ago actually but I did my last day on Sunday. It actually felt really nice to be released. I liked that calling but it defiantly has it's challenges. Coming up with something new and exciting every week was really hard. I still hope I get to see them do the program. I've worked on almost all the songs with them and it will be fun to sit back and enjoy them. Now I get to dedicate more of my time to a little baby. It has been fun finding things to do to keep myself busy until she comes. I am getting excited for her to come. I know that she is a special daughter of God who's been waiting a long time to come to this Earth. Here is my big shout out for a great delivery and all the rest that will follow!

Just some fun pictures

Anna loves the spray bottle. She found it one day and well she pretty much soaked herself. She wasn't having so much fun I couldn't take it away from her.

Kisses...she loves to play with little baby dolls lately. I'm afraid this is what she is going to want to do to our new little one.
This was on one of those crazy potty training days. We were dancing to music and she had to hold all 3 dolls at the same time...pretty cute if you ask me.

My new craft

So I've been finding fun things to do before this baby comes. I'm getting nervous. Just last night I was trying to go to sleep and this little girl wouldn't stop kicking me and so I just sat there in awe at this precious child of God that I have inside of me. Being pregnant is unlike any other feeling. I hope for the very best with my delivery and also with nursing but either way I'm sure the Lord knows what is best for our family. It will be interesting to see how Anna responds to her. I hope she will learn to love her. I only have 4 more weeks until I will be as far along as I was when I had Anna. CRAZY!

This little skirt is for Anna. I just saw one similar and decided to go for it. My sister helped me figure out the measurements but I sewed the whole thing. I am not very good at sewing so I think it turned out great!

This is for the new baby. The ruffle bum is sewn to a onesie. This is the back side.
This is the front of the onesie. I'm excited to take pictures of my girls in these fun outfits!

Potty training fiasco

So I officially decided not to keep trying to potty train Anna. I dedicated all my time and energy into potty training for 5 days and she never once acted interested. She never once told me but like 2 seconds before she was going that she needed to go. If I tried to stick her on the potty when she did need to go she wouldn't...but 1 minute later she would be going all over. It didn't make sense. I tried to stay very upbeat and not get mad or frustrated and I think I did a good job overall but Anna didn't like it one little bit. She wouldn't go to bed, she wouldn't take naps, and she was very clingy. Besides that she has a few emotional breakdowns the last few days. So today she has pretty much been back to her normal happy self. I put a pull up on her last night and she actually slept till like 8am this morning. It was a very hard decision and to be honest I almost feel like all that work was for nothing but it wasn't. I know I learned a lot about potty training. I also learned that I have a few short weeks left with Anna, somewhere between 5-7 and I have to do all I can to enjoy this time together. She is such a fun loving girl and it is good to have her back, in a sense. Don't get me wrong, I wish it would have worked out, but sometimes in life things aren't suppose to work out the way that we want them too. Those people who have success potty training a 20 month old, you are amazing! I can't believe you did it. Anyone who is potty training a child of any age, best of luck!

Day 3 potty training

So today was interesting to say the least. I feel defeated, yet I feel in a small way that maybe we are getting somewhere. Anna is so sick of this and to be honest I kind of am as well. You see she never made it to the potty once today. I mean she would start going and I would rush her to the potty but she won't ever actually go to the potty before she has to go. In the e book she says that in there way they will tell you. Well the only way that Anna tells us is she gives you that look and then it all comes out...well I can't ever get to the potty before she's almost all done going pee.

Night time was a joke tonight again. I know she had to go but when I have her try before bed she won't ever go but then right after I put her down she goes, it's very frustrating. I try to catch her but it's hard. That and she doesn't ever want to stay in bed. She gets up and wants to be outside with us. I tell her if she isn't going to the bathroom then she has to go to bed but that back fires almost every time because then she goes pee in her room after I leave. I guess I'll have to come up with a plan, and figure out what is the difference between bed time and letting her get out to go pee? I'm really not sure.

Now what am I going to do this week. Well I really can't go anywhere with Anna like this. She won't ever hold it and she would go every time. I am going to try to make this work. I think between Zach being home all day and me leaving for a few hours to do Primary didn't help. The author does recommend that the child is 22 months, and if they younger than that it may take longer. Well if it takes longer than tomorrow, I will have to come up with a different plan, i think. I don't want to go back to diapers because we've worked so hard for this but honestly I'm not sure at this point what to do.

Well that's about it. I really do like this lady's method a lot and I feel that it would work so much better for an older child. Anna is 20 months old but a few months can make a big difference.

Day 2

Anna woke up dry today, can you believe that? I couldn't, I'll have to say that was about the most exciting thing that happened. Today was better than day 1 but it was still very challenging. I think mostly Anna is realizing that this isn't very fun for her or me and she doesn't like it. I try to stay up beat and have a positive attitude but it can be challenging. She runs in circles and tries to hide when she has to go, I think in part because she doesn't want to have to go to the bathroom. She did much much better at getting everything out at once today though. A few struggles but I wasn't glued to the bathroom as much.

Anna's also went poop in the potty today. The 1st time it was just a little but it really did end up in the potty which is like an absolute miracle to me. The 2nd time I knew she had to go and I could see it in her face but whenever I would try to set her on the toilet she wouldn't go. Well I finally decided to let her start going and then dump what was in her underwear in the toilet and then let her finish, so that is what we did and it worked out. She really liked getting praise for doing it. I still think she has to go some more but hopefully with time we will figure this whole thing out.

That being said the hardest thing about today was bed time. She didn't want to go to bed. Last night she didn't want to go to bed but when she finally went pee she went down fine. Tonight she was up till like 11, and I know she was tired, yet I think she was afraid to be by herself and have an accident. I don't know but this potty training thing is really hard on her. I wasn't sure if I should force her to go to bed or let her stay up. I left to go to the store for a bit because this is the only time that I could go and Zach made her cry a little and she went everywhere. I feel bad but it's a battle between bed time and Anna not wanting to go to bed. You see Anna goes to bed so easy usually. Zach even said last week I think that we are so blessed that Anna goes down so easily...and it's true, but I just hope it gets better.

Potty training DAY 1....WOW!

OH MY WOW!!!! What a day! Well I decided it would be a good idea to post about my experience trying to potty train. Today was crazy! Anna woke up at 7:30 and we ate breakfast and I got a few things done I needed to do before Anna's last diaper came off and we were off to potty training. We threw away any old diapers laying around and then talked about the potty a little bit after that. Well between about 8 and 10:30 Anna had had at least 20 accidents. Seriously I would think she's done for a while and then she would go. The worst was when she would be on the potty, not go, then off the potty and as I'm in the bathroom trying to clean up the mess from the last accident she would pee again...so back onto the toilet and the same thing for like 2 hours. I was cleaning up messes left and right. Oh and this ladies method recommends you don't just let them try to sit on the potty all the time cause then they start to think of it as a time out spot. I had to do laundry in between because I only had 30 pairs of underwear. I had used up all the clean underwear and needed more from the drier so I went outside to get the laundry after putting Anna down for a nap and then the next thing I know she is hitting the door and going pee...so I ran inside and took her to the bathroom. I didn't have any underwear for her to wear so I went outside again and the same thing happened....why didn't she get it all out the 1st time? By this time I'm pretty much laughing...I'm pretty frustrated but I know getting mad won't help...I just tell Anna over and over "Let Mommy know if you need to go potty okay Anna."

Because Anna woke up a little earlier than usually she got to go down for a nap early...about 1030ish. Well she woke up about 12 and didn't take another nap all day. I thought she would go to bed early but she didn't. At 9 she didn't want to be in bed and didn't stay. Well needless to say I'm very tired and wanted her to sleep. Well about 930 she had an accident which I picked her up rushed her to the potty and put her to bed soon after.

Btw she did make it to the potty a few times, sometimes with little dribbles in the underwear but I was still proud of her for making it. When I could get things cleaned up fast enough in between messes, if she went at all in the potty she got a M&M. She kept asking for them but only got them when she went pee in the potty. She hasn't gone poop yet and I'm worried that she will tonight but hopefully she will be okay. Also we will see if she wakes up dry or not?

Oh and Zach hasn't been home since Thursday, he gets back tomorrow afternoon and I am so ready for him to come home. He's been on a scout trip with his young men. I think today would have been a little easier with him home but I'm glad Anna and I could have time to focus together.

Well WISH ME LUCK WITH DAY 2...hope it goes better than DAY 1 but I'm so grateful today is over!

3 day POTTY TRAINING! Intense!!!!!!

I got introduced to a 3 day potty training method by Zach's cousin Lacey and I really like what this woman has to say and I'm going to give it a try the next few days. This method is the 3 Day Potty Training Method by Lora Jensen. If you would like to read her e book you can go to 3DayPottytraining.com. I think the reason I really like this method is because it's all about positive reinforcement. We will see how it goes. I'm really nervous and for the next 3 days it will be strictly Anna and I. Yes Sunday is the last day, we will see how she is doing and make a decision about church.

If I wasn't having a baby in 1 1/2 months then I probably wouldn't worry too much about potty training Anna. This lady suggests that 22 months is the perfect time. Well I know Anna at 20 months can do this. It may be a little harder but it will be worth it because I need to do all I can now to make having a new born that much easier. I will be 32 weeks on Sunday so that mean I have 8 weeks left, and 6 if I have her as early has Anna. That isn't very far away.

WISH US LUCK! btw because I'm suppose to keep a really close eye on Anna tomorrow I'll try and post at night. That way I can have something to go off of next time I potty train and because it will be good for me to vent my feelings.

Wyoming

Part #4 of our trip. On Friday we went in to Jackson to look around the shops a little and to get our photo's from our white water rafting experience...it was a lot of fun.

After being in Jackson we decided to head to Jenny Lake which is in the Teton Park. The Teton's are a huge mountain range.

We stopped for a picnic on the way. There was a stream near by and Anna really wanted to get in it so we stripped her down and she loved it. That water was freezing too.
She was so excited to get in!This is us on a boat that gave us a tour of the lake, the guide told us some really cool things about the lake and the area around it.

This is one of the inlets to the lake. It's beautiful, this water is all coming from the mountains, where the snow is melting.

In between both mountains in this picture there used to be a big glacier. The glacier actually formed this huge lake and what a beautiful sight it is. It's amazing to me what God has created and how blessed we are to be a part of it!
Oh....

This shirt is Anna's souvenir shirt from our trip. It actually glows in the dark, kind of fun.

Part #3 of our trip, Wyoming! Zach and I traveled to Alpine Wyoming on Wednesday and Thursday was full of really fun activities. The 1st was white water rafting, which I didn't bring my camera for obvious reasons. They did buy some pictures that a company took of us going down the river but as of now I don't have any pictures. Oh and btw yes I did white water rafting pregnant, I got some strange looks but well I guess you could say I'm nuts. The pictures below are our adventures at Bar T 5. It is a really fun place to eat dinner in Jackson. They actually take you up by wagons to where you eat and they put on a little show for you. Thank goodness she loves me!
On the way up they had people riding around as if they were Indians. Well this guy fell off his horse and I caught it on my camera. I couldn't believe it!
The wagons.
The cowboys singing to us. They actually were pretty good.
Zach's Uncle James and Aunt Carolina with Anna.